Posted on: Sunday, April 06, 2008
Posted at: 8:41 AM
As I was remarking to dearest Cyn about the frustrations and irritations of having to mete out non-stop consolations to insecure people, I stopped for awhile and pondered silently if I crave for such reassurances innately. And I felt sick when I realised I, too, needed some occasionally. Constant reassurances are for insecure people, I thought. And oh bless the mighty lord, it struck me that my confidence level is still wavering in the balance. DAMN. Lately, I am scared and ashamed to voice out my weaknesses, and am trying to work 'em out on my own, albeit the nearing exams, which I am totally not focused on.
Distractions distractions.
Like a toddler high on sugar and having attention spans of 3 seconds only for strange, fast-moving, colorful objects, a 20-year-old experiences that.
I want to rollar blade freely again, have inordinate amounts of time to continue dance lessons, and to properly pick up an instrument. Oh, such fancies. I want to wander along the streets without so much as a naggy thought in my mind , with Kenn by my side. I want to have proper family dinners at the dining table for at least a whole, full month. I want to drink delicious, steaming coffee and watch the day go by, the people pass on by, a fantastic read in my hands. I want to earn my own keep and spend them lavishly on the people whom I so adore.
Snap, Snap.
I snap back into reality.
